In other news, I’m wondering why this site claims to be Satellite Internet…more thoughts on this to come later when I haven’t been drinking.

Lastly, satellites are colliding now, which leads me to believe old Asian women are operating the jets on these things.

Oh my, I feel so much better after leaving a post.

It looks like one of the Blue Angels, if you don’t know what that is, here:

Just fabulous! Now look at the route that it intends on running:

It goes from San Diego to Sacramento! To me, a resident of Southern California, this is terrific news!!!!! A high speed train to transport my drunk ass to Northern California! For many years I’ve been unable to venture into Northern territories due to the lack of comfortable and lightning fast transportation - that and Southern California has better surfing and warmer weather and hotter women. This is almost as good as my high speed internet I use to look up dead baby jokes at lightning fast speed! One could only hope they serve alcohol on this new train.

This got me thinking about whether there has been a black man in space before. After a quick search on Google, I discovered that there indeed has been a black man in space before!

This picture was taken in September 1980, the man in question, Col. Tamayo-Mendez, a Cuban national, was the first black man in space. Sorry Mr. Obama, you’re 28 years too late. But hey, it’s okay, congrats on being the first black president.

After the news broke out about the water finding, JPL and U-Haul announced a joint partnership to begin retrofitting rockets with moving trucks, vans, and trailers; the result is a hybrid U-Haul vehicle dubbed the “interplanetary crap transporter” or I.C.T. Below is the shocking evidence that proves water exists on Mars:

P.S. Good luck trying to handle and survive the sarcastic remarks and wisecracks - you’ll need it.